Be curious instead of condemning with yourself.
A therapist on a podcast I listen to said this and man, has it stuck with me. Curiosity allows for growth (this is not the “self love” the world pushes, or acceptance of unhealthy patterns) in a safe space. However, it seems to be my default function to condemn myself.
When my anxiety gets triggered — “I hate that I’m like this.”
When I’m crushed with despair — “I’m such a loser.”
It makes a huge difference to turn these condemning statements to curious ones.
When I feel a surge of anxiety- “What just happened to give me these feelings?”
When I feel depressed — “Who can I talk to about how I feel?”
I am quickly reminded of how Jesus was not sent to condemn but to save. When I say condemning, cruel things to myself, in a way I am telling God he was wrong and I should be condemned. I spit on the image of God when I say evil things to myself and I can’t imagine how deeply it breaks his divine heart.
How can you be less condemning and more curious towards yourself?